You can run.

But the Feds Have GPS. (next hearing 11/21 @ 10am)

It’s been a while since I’ve dropped an update on this saga, and honestly, who needs plot twists when Ryne’s life is a low-budget remake of Catch Me If You Can—minus the charm, the plane, and the happy ending?

Ryne finally dragged himself to his first creditor meeting, late, sweaty, and out of breath. Under oath, he answered basic questions with the depth of a kiddie pool. At one point, the U.S. Trustee’s Trial Attorney looked like they’d just asked a cat to solve calculus—visibly dumbfounded. Ryne’s used to dodging like a pro, but now? He’s in Bankruptcy Land, where evasion comes with handcuffs.

Oh, and get this—his lawyer called me, all polite and pleading, begging me to take down the site because it’s “inhibiting Ryne from getting a job.” Apparently, he needs employment to “pay us back.” I told him: Ryne landing a gig should be the least of his worries. Last I checked, the federal pen doesn’t run on LinkedIn, and “Ponzi King” isn’t trending on Indeed.

The second Ryne filed for bankruptcy, the arrest clock started ticking. Instead of vanishing like a smart con, he lit up a neon sign: “I ran a Ponzi scheme—trust me, bro, I’ll fix it!” Classic Ryne. He’ll keep serving half-truths, dodging questions, and playing the sympathy card—complete with texts like:

Buddy, if hospitals gave frequent flyer miles, you’d be sipping piña coladas in Fiji by now.

But none of that matters. Ryne’s cornered. He can lie again at the next hearing—making it a gift-wrapped case for the feds. Or tell the truth and pray for a lighter sentence.

Don’t chicken out now, Ryne. Prison orange is your color. I’ll even send glossy prints of this site so you can wallpaper your cell. Pen pals forever.

Victims (and law enforcement): Next meeting: 11/21 at 10:00 AM Central Show up. We can’t let Ryne monologue like a B-movie villain. Let’s pack the room and turn it into the roast he deserves.

See you there Ryne! And try not to show up late.